How many times have we heard that weight loss, quitting smoking, gaining financial control, and volunteering are the natural and common New Year’s resolutions? Of course, often we hear these same resolutions from the same individuals year after year, proving the point entirely that resolutions simply don’t work.

If you really want this year to be different, figure out what you really want. Are you looking to figure out how to lose fat brilliantly fast or kick the habit? Do you want to get in shape and vow to set up a schedule for personal training? Are you in need of some personal time and decide that you’re going finally use the medispa gift certificate you were given again this year? When it’s resolution time, it seems like anything and everything flows.

It is good to question why most of use are simply not able to become successful when it comes to our own promises. Maybe if we all stopped creating lists about what we want to change about ourselves we might be able to see how we are evolving. How do we evolve in the right direction? We use resolutions as annual guidance.

Try to avoid coming up with your resolution at the party. Think about things ahead of time and create some possibilities in your mind. This can be private and personal. Write it down and keep it in a home office or setting that you will be able to access it quickly.

When you take the time to write down the things you want to move toward, you tend to move toward them much faster and without a sense of pressure. The written goals are fresh, and you get to look at them whenever you feel you need a little extra guidance in your life.

The tradition does not mandate that you drop your old habit and completely change to your resolution on the first of January. If you vowed to quit smoking that doesn’t mean you have to wake up on New Year’s Day as a nonsmoker. Take the time to develop the skills you need for reaching your goals.

There will not be a test that you can pass or fail next December. You can only determine how well you did over the year for yourself and then figure out if those goals need to stay on the list. This is much more concrete than trying to be someone or something you’re not for about a month. After that you tend to drop the effort because it doesn’t feel right. It’s no wonder. You are really just looking to be yourself in the best possible way.