Setting goals for relationships cover many important areas. Couples will need to communicate what level of support they need from the other person. Some people like to be comforted copiously during hard times, whereas others may need some time to themselves. Couples also need to discuss what approach they’d like to take with problem solving and what end result they’d prefer. They will need to discuss individual growth opportunities, as well as personal, structural, financial and family goals.

Setting smart goals often begins with mutual support objectives. Couples need to establish how interdependent they’ll be, how to help one another grow and how to include others in the relationship, without losing support and intimacy. The ground rules for communication are usually established in this stage of setting coalition goals. Couples will need to be on the same page as far as how long they’d like the relationship to last. If the relationship is for the long haul, they’ll need to set goals on how to nurture mutual intimacy throughout the years to keep the flames of passion burning. They will also need to look for ways to have fun in the relationship. During hardships, couples will need to know when to pull closer and when to leave some space.

Setting goals for individual growth within a relationship is another process that occurs fairly early on, but throughout the relationship as well. Initially, couples struggle to find the appropriate balance between independent time, friend and family time, and new relationship time. Partners may be looking at, “How can we maintain our unique individual personalities while in this relationship?” Couples may feel jealous or have resentment boil up — for which they need to have methods of turning down their emotions. Over time, couples wonder about the long term goals of happiness. They may ask what can be done if one or both feels smothered or stagnant. How do we prevent burnout? How can we ensure mutual growth? How can we help each other live healthier, happier lives?

Once a couple joins together more seriously, setting goals for finances becomes even more critical to the relationship’s success. Data suggests the biggest thing young couples fight over is money. So couples will need to assess each other’s career goals and salaries. They will also need to set realistic goals for saving. Couples will need to be aware of potential sources of conflict, such as unemployment, working over-time and spending habits. Closer to marriage, couples will need to consider what type of house, furnishings and neighborhood they need, as well as how many cars will be needed? Joint finances, additional investment properties and a commitment to follow a budget should also be on the list of matters to consider.

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